It's has been so long since I last blogged. Got super rusty because thought is super messy right now. Am having finals for year 3 of my degree. 4 papers in total, 2 down, 2 more to go.
Have to idea why I got super easily irritated recently. Maybe it's because of this final stress, or PMS... no idea. Every night I have been so so so negative. Thinking about all the bad things that I have done, first time to say, I regretted some of it. No matter how long things have passed, it still haunts me.
I wished I could change things, but I couldn't.
"You hate yourself because everytime you look into the mirror you know, deep down inside, you are not happy. Shallow, and superficial. Masked at dawn, unveiled at dusk. Self-hatred so intense, loneliness gnawing through ages so endlessly, so hopelessly." Exactly how I feel now.
I remember there's one night not long ago, I listen to a song called "I get to love you" and I got this mixed feeling. Tears couldn't stop rolling down my cheeks, reminiscing how happy I was few years ago.
I remember when I was 18, life was like a dream, full of rainbows, unicorns and all the good stuff. You name it, I have it. I remembered waking up feeling very happy and excited as the day starts and going to bed sleeping soundly and happily.
Things aren't the same no more.
Got to stop nagging. Back to books. Ciao.
