Hi there, being quite happy and over cloud nine recently. I guess family does give you that sense of 'complete' ain't I right? It's been 6 months since i last came home. Been super attached to my boyfriend for the past few months so whenever I have holiday, I will be there in JB rather than go back to my family. A lil bit guilty but things could be better with a lil bit of adjustment right. I guess I just need more time to find the balance in between. As what being mentioned earlier, since i tend to spend more time with my bf, so I'm already start missing him and wanted to go back to JB So badly after coming back for just 2 weeks lol.

Things were really really good for me.

I've moved to a new place, again. Lol. Hopefully this will be he last time I ever move house in my university life. I fear KL/ university life. Got a lil panic just by thinking to go back to KL. thinking of hiding myself in the room forever and don't have to go out and meet anyone.
I guess the main reason why is due to lack of friendship.

But I often wonder,
How to do find the balance between love and friendship? And the friends I met in my uni are kinda different from my hs/college friends.
During hs/college time, friends don't get mad when you spend more time with your BF but the friends I mingle around with now get a lil bit jealous? When I spend too much time with my BF.

That's also one of the reaoson of keeping me up tonight because I'm having dilemma. Lol
They are going to Koh Lipe Bay this December and they hope that I can join.
I wasn't really into it because :
1) I don't think I can fully enjoy the trip. To me if I can't fully enjoy the trip and have to worry about tons of stuff, it becomes a waste of time and money. The reason I can't be fully myself during the trip is, I know my BF will never allow as I have to lie to him if I ever decided to go, which is the last thin I want to do.

2) as above mentioned, my BF will never allow. Reason being, the guy my BF super dislike is in our gang.

3) money issue. Going to Pulau Besar with BF this October. Self-sponsored. Didn't want to ask for extra money from parents because they have given me some money early this year when I went to Bangkok. Don't know where can I find money.

4) not the place I wanted to go. Just came back from Redang Island last week, going to another island next month, really sick of going to island again.

5) my presence might as well affect others. They know my BF dislike me to be with them. So if I were to go to the trip with them, they can't post it anywhere on social media. They have to go in secret and lie to others about my presence. I don't think they will enjoy as much if so.

The only reason I might consider is that i truly value this friendship and I don't want to disappoint them. Don't know how to reject them either.

Haiz. Dilemma.

It's has been so long since I last blogged. Got super rusty because thought is super messy right now. Am having finals for year 3 of my degree. 4 papers in total, 2 down, 2 more to go.

Have to idea why I got super easily irritated recently. Maybe it's because of this final stress, or PMS... no idea. Every night I have been so so so negative. Thinking about all the bad things that I have done, first time to say, I regretted some of it. No matter how long things have passed, it still haunts me.
I wished I could change things, but I couldn't.

"You hate yourself because everytime you look into the mirror you know, deep down inside, you are not happy. Shallow, and superficial. Masked at dawn, unveiled at dusk. Self-hatred so intense, loneliness gnawing through ages so endlessly, so hopelessly." Exactly how I feel now.

I remember there's one night not long ago, I listen to a song called "I get to love you" and I got this mixed feeling. Tears couldn't stop rolling down my cheeks, reminiscing how happy I was few years ago.

I remember when I was 18, life was like a dream, full of rainbows, unicorns and all the good stuff. You name it, I have it. I remembered waking up feeling very happy and excited as the day starts and going to bed sleeping soundly and happily.

Things aren't the same no more.

Got to stop nagging. Back to books. Ciao.

(Oh, First of all, Thanks Cathy ho for changing this blog's background! Super love flowers!)

Hi, had an awesome 18th birthday last week and it's gonna be a long long post....

So this is how it's started :

A pre birthday celebration with my long lost buddy hahaha. We used to stick together after school and I will call her everyday for hours. It's so memorable to flash back and yea, thanks a lot for still remembering my birthday after so long not meeting up. Really appreciate it very much! 

Minions are awesome!!!!

BFF

And yea, went to Italiannies with my jie jie. Super happy but didn't have all the photos 'cause most of the photos are still with her, so ...

She celebrates my birthday every year since form 3 and I feel super sorry for not celebrating with her last year 'cause SPM is approaching and, hehh, so bad right your lil sis? 

Anyway, celebrate my birthday with me every year lah k? HAHAHA

The candid shot!

This is soooo good i'm gonna die!

Love you!

Oh, and the #ootd LOL

The night before my birthday, went to Sakae and Ben's with my pretty babes! 

And here's my pretty babes ...

 sorry for looking so stoned here =.=

 The "Debby" wannabe (Fyi, Debby is my hamster hahaha)

And they really make me think that that's the end for the celebration hahaha.

On the 3rd of July, all these happened,

The preparation procedure :

 Baby boy, featuring Bio lecturer behind talking with some random unknown. HAHAHAHA

And was frighten by the crowd before he appears..... hahaha

 And HI KARVEN!! *super touched!*

 The view from the 3rd floor and thanks for their help really much!

 And of course, Love you baby boy! For making my 18th birthday unforgettable :')

 Thank you!!

 And happy girl is super happy now! :D

 not to forget YESK! (Yangel, Etheng, Songjia, Kersin. HAHAHAHAHA)

 Yea, still my bestie even not studying in the same college 'cause our friendship is simply irreplaceable.
Hmm, Missing my high school time, 'cause we will be sticking together all the time.

 And this is my 'tang ge' XD

 My boyfriend is awesome!

 This is what we used to do in school. Whisper whisper then laugh like mad! HAHAHA

And my pretty babes! Thanks for making this a success! 

It's Tiramisu from China House. Boohoo!!

Had my dinner at Uncle Zack By the beach, Park Royal hotel. Loving this place and of course, My baby boy. :)

The #ootd

Loving the background, making me like a princess... No, Vinson's princess. HAHA

My pretty boyyyy

 

The together forever look.

watching the birthday video teehee! *so happy*

Went back to hostel and saw this on the table in my living room. Big big love to YESK!

(Yea because typing YESK is easier than typing their full name HAHAHA)

And this is my hostel with smelly shoes .....

Sorry I cannot resist cake hahaha

Guess the camera prefers the cake more than us ...

And, That's the end.

Having a blessed birthday. 

Signing off, bye lovess.